Bad Nose, Good Nose 👃
when rhinoplasty runs DEEP
main feed: “Fixing” the Nose
Earlier this year, an unlady wrote to Unladylike:
I am an almost 30-year-old woman, and have always had a big "Jewish nose" (which I feel I can say.. as a Jew). It has been a silent and secret rite of passage for the women in my family to get their noses "fixed" before graduating high school, and I am one of the only women in my family that declined the procedure.
She first learned of this rhinoplasty tradition as a teen when her mother, unprompted, informed her how much prettier she’d be with a smaller nose, and that her parents would happily pay for a nose job if she wanted one. She did not. But it stuck in her head—how could it not? For one thing, recognizing a beauty construct doesn’t magically render it powerless. And as we discover in this week’s episode, choosing (and re-choosing) whether to conform can mean grappling with far more than cosmetics.
At the end of her letter, she asked whether any other unladies have struggled with nose guilt or shame. Soooo, have you?
need to know:
This land ain’t my land. (Native Land Digital and PBS News) Thanks to this digital map and Indigenous-led teaching tool, I learned that I live on what was Muscogee Nation territory (before it was stolen, and 23,000 were violently forced out starting in the late 1820s). Search your address, then find out why the Association of Indigenous Anthropologists has asked for a pause on land acknowledgements at non-Native events and conferences.
SIXTY-SIX. (Guttmacher) That’s how many US clinics have stopped providing abortion care in 100 days since Roe and Casey were overturned. Another 26 clinics have shut down altogether. Guttmacher estimates that a third of cisgender “women of reproductive age” now live in states with little to no abortion healthcare. Meanwhile . . .
Three Jewish moms vs. Kentucky’s abortion ban and fetal personhood law. (Lexington Herald) Similar to lawsuits filed by a synagogue in Florida and Hoosier Jews for Choice in Indiana, the women are suing on the grounds that the laws are patently batshit and violate their religious freedom. (More on faith x abortion coming soon on the pod, fyi.)
“Sass And Shimmer: The Dazzling History Of Black Majorettes And Dance Lines.” (Essence) NEED I SAY MORE? 💃🏿🥁✨
The original Golden Girls and HBCU dance line, founded in 1968 at Alcorn State University
unladies are saying:
“I've been called a fucking buzzkill, too pretty to be taken seriously and little girl. I've been asked if I'm my boss's assistant and if I'm only going to be eating salad at all meals.”
- chemical engineer Sarah, whose 60+ coworkers are 95% men 💀🥗 (And yes, she’s actively job hunting)
til next week . . . “It wasn’t called gender affirming care, it was called healthcare.”
I have a, what I now call, aristocratic nose:). As did my parents and grandparents. My mum however got hers corrected in her mid twenties. She both made fun of my nose and praised me for it as a teenager. I found both terribly embarassing. Luckily I never corrected it and I've grown to love my nose.
Two years ago I posed for a portrait series of women with big(ger) noses. And people's first reaction was to tell me my nose did not look big at all. As if to comfort me. It shows the assumption is that a big nose is ugly by definition.
Caro Verbeek wrote a really interesting book (in Dutch) about noses and the way we have characterised them through history.
This story HIT HOME for me. I am the only one in my family with a big bump at the bridge of my nose and growing up, my mother told me that if I ever wanted it fixed she would help me with that. I have never liked me nose (which turned to hatred thanks to the dressing rooms at H&Ms when I was in high school) and have considered changing it. But now as an adult I think about the recovery time, how much it would change my face, and what I'd rather spend that money on. Logically I know all of this but certain photos or reflections of my nose take me aback to this day. It's definitely a constant struggle for me. Sending you love from another big nosed gal.